Wednesday, April 18, 2018


Daily Draw: Cathar Tarot ~  8 of Swords

Juice of the poppy.  A maesters first choice. And Hippocrates. And Rabâ-ša-Marduk. Pain. And opiates. Like horse and carriage. But which comes first?

I'm told prescription Oxycodone can run $50-80.00 a pill on the street. Crazy. A fentanyl tab is $5.00. Again. Crazy. I'm told employees in pot factories bring two gallons of milk to work and gulp it down in a shift just to be able to stand up straight and work. It is a funny old world. Funny sad, not funny ha-ha.

And the rest of us just drive on by, impervious to horse and carriage both.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Owning Ownership

Daily Draw: Cathar Tarot ~ 4 of Coins/Wisdom

Pulling all he owns, everywhere he goes. Doesn't look very happy. Stuff we dust, stuff we store, stuff we pack in closets and attic. Garages get converted, build-ons grow, shed are bought second houses are purchased.

Me me me mine mine mine. We stand in the stuff shop and try to think where we can put it. And even where to hide it. But won't it go nice with our other stuff! Eighteen years I've been conscientiously weeding. My nieces and nephews will do it all in three days.

Easy Peasy.

Monday, April 16, 2018

Rocking Or Even Keeled

Daily Draw: Cathar Tarot ~ 6 of Wands/Shield/Faith

Home and hearth; successfully even keeled. Credit well deserved.

As I understand it the Cathar basic tenets were "the good principle had created everything good, permanent, immutable; while the bad principle had created everything bad, temporary, perishable."

As Cathars gained adherents rapidly, Catholicism mounted another Crusade...: "Kill them all. God will know his own".

The whole concept leaves me flattened. But this card, showing one on one without conflict, is an answer never allowed to flourish. Pitifully, kill them all is the old men's response to rocking the boat, getting the little people wound up and thinking for themselves. My mind is so often boggled.

Sunday, April 15, 2018


Daily Draw: Cathar Tarot ~ 3 of Wands/Shields/Faith
Action, movement, discovery
Support, share, cooperate
Would that all our projects worked out this way.

One of my entrepreneurial wild hairs that passed the three week rule was Luggage To Go. It wasn't a big earner, but for first time travelers, particularly overseas. it passed the test of usefulness.

Rob shrugged, he was used to me having ideas. Not one other person was supportive, but I was used to that. I rented those four sets of luggage for about four years, until they got shabby.

It was fun listening to the potential travel plans going out, and fun to hear what the actual highlights had been coming back.  We need to remember the first thing is be our own support. Self doubt bombs a lot of interesting innovations.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Aesop, Boggled

Daily Draw: Shaman's Oracle ~ Dancer of Lies

I've ragged Rob unmercifully about a 600 pound bass story he told me when we were dating. I looked up the subject this morning and there has been groupers, halibut, and bass landed that size. Who knew? I made my apologies to Rob.

Do you remember the Aesop fable about the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf? The young shepherd made up wolf stories and when one did menace his herd no one believed him. The story made a deep impression on the child I was and has pretty much kept me honest.

We have a sitting president who opens his mouth and lies flow forth, even when lies serve no purpose whatsoever. The havoc of the long term consequences on impressionable minds boggles.

Friday, April 13, 2018

Always A War

Daily Draw: Shaman's Oracle ~ Spirit of Healing

The news this week is about how many people don't remember or have not heard of the Holocaust of 1933-1945 WWII. To that I would add the Korean War, Pol Pot, and the Vietnam War. I'm guessing it is more about families who weren't impacted who don't remember.

I remember Russia in Afghanistan, only because our news made great sport over never any progress and they finally just went home. Who is laughing now?
But I have no one associated with the Middle East mess so I know little about the losses there, it doesn't seem real.

On July 1,  1916, 19,240 troops died at Somme. In One day...
Sept. 17, 1862, 22, 717 troops were dead, wounded, missing in action at Antietam. There are one day totals even worse.

I'm trying to heal from the war zone that was mother. Perhaps we can't take it all in, or remember because it is more pain than we can process and bear.

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Dream Analysis

Daily Draw: Shaman's Oracle ~ Hunter of Dreams

Does anyone believe or understand dream analysis?
Water: In over your head
Monkey bars: Carefree
Train: Life journey
Goat: Abundance and mirth
Skyscraper: And this mish-mash "A skyscraper dream maybe about you but it may equally be about someone else."(google)

I dream a lot and they seem to be, on awaking, long and complicated. But the most common thing I remember is a building sense of anxiety.
I can't get somewhere
I can't find something
I can't save something
I can't respond to something...
I'm not anxious when awake though. Or am I?

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Private and Secretive

Daily Draw: Shaman's Oracle ~ Ancestor of Boundaries

No one ever said it but the rule growing up was keep family matters at home. Flash forward fifty years and family is often the last to hear, everything being shouted to social media.

Natural photos now look odd because selfies give a reverse image. That reverse is not skin deep anymore, but taken beyond reasonable boundaries.

I used to be private, even secretive, seldom sharing what was important to friends, or even Rob. Wordsmithing this blog over eleven years has exposed all there is to know about me. I'm no different than the average twerker.

My shaky saving grace is I write for myself. Or do I?

Tuesday, April 10, 2018


Daily Draw: Shaman's Oracle ~ Companion

Companion. I remember mine. I'd forget to take her and she would jump from the top of a phone pole to the next to catch up with me. She was also from the olden days and I'd explain about tractors and silverware. 

I'm thinking she probably moved on when I was eight or so. I wonder who she is with now and does she remember our time together with fondness. 

Maybe that is our proclivity for spouse and children. We miss our companion.

Monday, April 9, 2018


Daily Draw: Shaman's Oracle ~Spirit of Initiation

First day of school. I felt like I was a foot taller when I got back home.
Freshman initiation. Wearing eggs and oil and dirt and paint all day, filing in a line through each room full of kids. Didn't get it then, still don't. Playday/Payday for bullies.
First day on any job. Guaranteed to make us feel dumb.
First day in our own first home. Bliss.
First dog. Why didn't we think if this sooner!
First day of retirement. We got in the car and ran and ran.

Away from the enormous stresses we'd been under. And ran some more. In some cases I am still running.
That is life.